And the Dead Shall Bury the Living

As some of you are aware, Mogadishu Jones has a love-hate relationship with monster movies. I love them because, like most people, I enjoy being frightened while watching a movie. Unfortunately most “scary movies” are puerile drivel that leech away 90 minutes of your life with most not even giving you more than a single pair of bare breasts for your trouble, and don’t even think about graphic sex. Now if you’re like me, and I know I am, then you want at least one beaver shot per picture just to make it slightly interesting and slightly less irritating. Doesn’t matter if we’re talking vampires, werewolves, mummies, demons…you pick the bugaboo and I’ll send you a list of a dozen turkeys.

Today, however, I will present to you my list of the crème de la gore of the Zombie Movies, a genre that is extremely overdone, but can sometimes yield great results.

Let’s start with the Master of the genre, shall we?

Night of the Living Dead. Yeah, I am talking about the 1968 George A. Romero classic, not the completely uninspired 1990 Tom Savini remake. What makes this movie such a classic is not the shuffling, shambling zombies that aren’t scary in the slightest, it’s the drama among the people trapped in the farmhouse. Everyone can identify with one of these characters, even if you don’t agree with them.

Dawn of the Dead. George Romero does it again with this triumph that plays off of the capitalist dream “Shop til you drop!” Only in this case, they keep on coming, long after their hearts have stopped beating. Why? Because that’s what they did while they were alive…

Land of the Dead. Notice I skipped “Day of the Dead”? You should too. This is another interesting case as Romero once again attacks America’s fucked-up moral and political values by showing how the minority rules over the majority without the decency to be ashamed of it, and how the majority dumbly nods their heads and accepts it as the natural order of things.

Now, let’s move onto some more modern fare…

28 Days Later. This flick redefined the zombie genre for all time. No longer did the undead drag themselves along mindlessly, relying on strength of numbers to ultimately do in their prey. Now they run your ass to the ground and rip you apart…assuming, of course, that you don’t become one of them first.

Resident Evil. This one wasn’t going to win any academy awards, and it isn’t the BEST example of a video game movie, but I have seen worse. (Pick a Uwe Boll film, I dare you…) One of the biggest selling points for this flick is the Female Empowerment message sent by the costars Milla Jovovich, and Michelle Rodriguez. Strong women are hawt…specially when they have boobies like Michelle Rodriguez. Yummy…

Dawn of the Dead (2004). This movie was gory, no doubt about it. It was also fucking scary. There were no “heroes” in this movie…just ordinary men and women trying to make it in a world that went to shit in less than a day. When you seriously consider it, with no macho bullshit getting in the way of the truth…what would you do?

Even the Undead can give us a giggle…

Return of the Living Dead Part II. I have always loved this flick…and I think one of the funnies bits (aside from the kid trying to convince his girlfriend to let him bite her) was one of the zombies getting on the ambulance radio and requesting “Send more brains….I mean, HELP…”

Shaun of the Dead. Okay, who would have thought you could make a zombie love story that didn’t suck? (Aside from the producers of “My Boyfriends Back” but they were horribly, horribly wrong…) Even people who don’t generally get British comedy saw the humor in this one, and it was a great date movie.